So, one would think that going to one of the largest and most incredible, populated, busy cities in the world would create a strong desire to work out like crazy and eat healthily. Well, I thought I ate healthy. I made it a point to walk no less than 15 blocks north at lunch before I ate lunch and turned around to walk 15 more blocks, so that I would get some exercise. In the evenings I walked between 15-40 blocks before turning around also. I calculated it and I walked between about 3-6 miles per day.
I ate salads and hummus, made sure to get fruit salad almost every day, ate few "bad" foods, although I ate out for every meal. I tried to eat at healthy, local and fresh-food serving restaurants and did fairly well, but I do know that I made some poor choices. So, I didn't lose weight. In fact, when I started this new job I was 256 pounds. This morning I was 260 pounds. This was in two weeks. Travel days were the worst - I have a history of traveling and eating in train stations and airports, eating pretty much crap. Well, in three weeks I had 6 very long travel days. I know I ate poorly on each of those days.
I feel bloated, gross, lethargic, depressed. I don't feel like I did when I was unemployed but exercising super regularly, eating homemade foods. This training that I've been in is nine hours long, with a one hour lunch. By the time I get back to my hotel (after working and walking) I've been up for about 13-15 hours, and I just don't feel like jumping on the elliptical or treadmill, or even doing 20 minutes of weights.
It's horrible to say aloud how much this job is making me miserable so far. I was made to feel really uncomfortable (by the way of sexual harassment) by someone in a higher up position (whom I will not work with other than the work that has already happened). I met someone from another location who was an absolute D-BAG, who made the weeks suck even more by putting everyone (me) down to make him/herself seem super awesome and amazing.
I applied to a university today. I hope I get in and can afford to go. I really want to go to school full-time and maybe work part-time. I want a job that I love, or at least look forward to going to each day.
I can't believe that I've turned such a corner, and for the worse. A month ago I was feeling okay, feeling like I was doing well or at least tolerantly well with weight loss. I honestly expected myself to be 10-12 pounds less by now than I currently weigh.
Also, my sister joined an online dating site last week and convinced me to do it, so I did it today. Then I read an article where a man said that he won't date women over size 12, 14 is pushing it. He said 16 or higher is just gross. Awesome. What a smart time to join a website, right?
Oy. Does anyone have ANY suggestions or ideas as to how I can pull myself out of this slump? Please reply, Any help or suggestions would be amazing.
I find that transitions are tough enough one at a time, but pile them on one after another and I get overwhelmed. With a new job, possibly headed to school, weight loss, and dating all together, it's a lot of change all at once. Find where you can best center your focus, and give it your all. ♥ P.S. Online dating? Hit or miss. Some guys are jerks, but they're like that offline too.
ReplyDeleteTransitions and change are hard to work around sometimes. Especially when you're just starting out again. It can get overwhelming and frustrating, but keep in mind. You made some poor choices. So what? You also made some good ones. Eventhough you didn't lose any weight, it's not the end of the world. Keep your mind focused on the positive and know that every day is a new day to start all over again.
ReplyDeleteI hope you'll get into college. maybe that experience will help you in un-imaginable yet positive ways. As for work, I think everyone deserves a job they look forward to going to. I hope you find that too.
As for the dating site, most guys are jerks and that one clearly is. Don't pay him any attention. The man meant for you will love you as is. I've seen it and I know it's possible. So chin up my dear, you can do this.
Lots of love,
Tammy
I agree with the ladies above (I just found ur blog today so I have to catch up on past entries) you're taking on a lot and probably beating yourself up when you shouldn't. Dont let one mans narrow minded views close any opportunities for you (that goes for the online dating and any other jerks you encounter elsewhere in life) You know what you want, you're the only one who has the power to get it and it will all fall into place as long as you keep your eye on the prize. Personally I met my boyfriend through a dating site after dating 3 of the biggest idiots walking the earth. Keep an open mind and a clear head -- you're in control of every decision you make :)
ReplyDeleteso glad i found ur blog, looking forward to more!
Hey! I've been busy myself, and I'm just catching up on with Twitter pals :)
ReplyDeleteAre you still doing Weight Watchers? Do you think, maybe, you should switch it up a bit and try a different approach?
I'm doing the old fashioned calorie counting through myfitnesspal.com and it's been working out pretty well. I went from 274 on April 15th to 238, today. (11ish weeks).
I also use a bodybugg, but it's definitely not 100% necessary. You can get a general idea of how many calories you burn during exercise (even walking) with the tools myfitnesspal.com provides for free. The mobile app makes it super easy to log your food/exercise when you're on the go, too.
Obviously, you're still motivated! :) Maybe you just need a refreshed look at things to get you back on track. Message me if you want to talk "offline" and hopefully I can help you out. *hugs n luv*
Hey, sorry you had a bummer let down with your weightloss at the beginning of the month. I tend to retain water when I am traveling or outdoors in the heat too much and for me that appears to make my body think it has to hold on to stuff. Weathering those periods of time is like psychological warfare. I am not walking outside until the heat lets up here in Tennessee. I need a psychological break from the negative affects of the heat on my weight. Went to the mall yesterday to walk. A tweet from thinnerisms today was good for me, so I'll share: Successful #weightloss requires persistence. We only get better at something by REPEATED EFFORT, and PICKING OURSELVES UP after we stumble. But sometimes the stumble is not ours per se, but the reactiion we allow ourselves to have to the stalemate on the scale. On a good day, I choose to stay on course, knowing that the scale is just playing mind games with me, that I am determined to win. I sometimes have to wait 3 or 4 days (or longer) to see the scale give up and let go of the number.
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