30 August 2011

Shady's Back, tell some friends.

I feel so gross.  I think I've been on a carb-fueled binge for like three weeks.  Not an actual binge, but eating more like I was when I was 300 pounds than I was when I was 254/255.  Carbs are such fuel for lethargy, it's incredible.

I was doing well for a hot minute.  Exercising, happy.  I hurt my back a while ago, and it's been flaring up periodically. I think that my lack of core strength really hurt my ability to keep on top of exercising.  I totally lost steam when that happened.  Due to a job that doesn't offer health insurance for an inordinate amount of time, I can't afford to try PT, which I think would benefit my back like crazy.

Starbucks has received more money from me in the past month than I've given them in the past nine months.  Every morning (not even joking - EVERY morning), I've been going to Starbucks for a breakfast sandwich and a chai.  The one good thing is that I cut back from a venti to a grande.  But aside from that, gross.

I don't enjoy food. I wish I did, but even amazing tasting food - it just goes in, goes down, etc (I mean seriously, you get the picture).

I'm having trouble finding the groove to get started again. I have told myself that September 1st will be IT for me.  I won't beat myself up for the next two days, and then in September I'm going to go grocery shopping, cook, force myself to go to a gym, in my building or to join a local one.

I don't want to beat myself up, so I'm not going to really allow it, but I had to vent. I need to find a routine. I like routines!

xox