What a change...

So, one would think that going to one of the largest and most incredible, populated, busy cities in the world would create a strong desire to work out like crazy and eat healthily.  Well, I thought I ate healthy. I made it a point to walk no less than 15 blocks north at lunch before I ate lunch and turned around to walk 15 more blocks, so that I would get some exercise.  In the evenings I walked between 15-40 blocks before turning around also.  I calculated it and I walked between about 3-6 miles per day.

I ate salads and hummus, made sure to get fruit salad almost every day, ate few "bad" foods, although I ate out for every meal.  I tried to eat at healthy, local and fresh-food serving restaurants and did fairly well, but I do know that I made some poor choices. So, I didn't lose weight. In fact, when I started this new job I was 256 pounds. This morning I was 260 pounds. This was in two weeks.  Travel days were the worst - I have a history of traveling and eating in train stations and airports, eating pretty much crap.  Well, in three weeks I had 6 very long travel days. I know I ate poorly on each of those days.

I feel bloated, gross, lethargic, depressed. I don't feel like I did when I was unemployed but exercising super regularly, eating homemade foods.  This training that I've been in is nine hours long, with a one hour lunch.  By the time I get back to my hotel (after working and walking) I've been up for about 13-15 hours, and I just don't feel like jumping on the elliptical or treadmill, or even doing 20 minutes of weights.

It's horrible to say aloud how much this job is making me miserable so far.  I was made to feel really uncomfortable (by the way of sexual harassment) by someone in a higher up position (whom I will not work with other than the work that has already happened).  I met someone from another location who was an absolute D-BAG, who made the weeks suck even more by putting everyone (me) down to make him/herself seem super awesome and amazing.

I applied to a university today. I hope I get in and can afford to go. I really want to go to school full-time and maybe work part-time.  I want a job that I love, or at least look forward to going to each day.

I can't believe that I've turned such a corner, and for the worse. A month ago I was feeling okay, feeling like I was doing well or at least tolerantly well with weight loss. I honestly expected myself to be 10-12 pounds less by now than I currently weigh.

Also, my sister joined an online dating site last week and convinced me to do it, so I did it today. Then I read an article where a man said that he won't date women over size 12, 14 is pushing it.  He said 16 or higher is just gross. Awesome.  What a smart time to join a website, right?

Oy.  Does anyone have ANY suggestions or ideas as to how I can pull myself out of this slump?  Please reply, Any help or suggestions would be amazing.

Only I would...

Only I would leave my wallet on my couch and drive to a parking garage (for a job interview, thankfully!) that requires payment.  The interview went great.  It was supposed to be up to an hour, of course chatty cathy here helps extend it to 75 minutes.  I felt like skipping with joy to my car because it went well. I realized at the building exit that I don't have my wallet. Where the frick is my wallet!?!  Oh duh, it's at home. I found an unused Amex gift card from probably two christmases ago and of course it was empty because of those stupid finance charges. B*st*rds!

I tore apart my car looking for change. I found $.94, including 34 pennies.  They required $2 for me to exit.  I drove towards the exit, feeling like I could cry, but thinking that it'd be stupid if I did, because it's $1.06 and I'm probably not the first person this happened to. Also glad that this means I can't pull over at a drive-thru on the way home to stress eat.  Back to reality.  I pull up and it's a cluster***k at the exit.  There are only 2 exits open, both of which are for pre-paid cars.  Awesome, right?  


I pulled over to the side to see if I could talk to someone, and got boxed in. Someone then comes over and tells me to get in an open cashier lane, which will be a minute or so, then I could fill out a form and mail in $2 (great, it'll be $2.47 now, including postage). Finally they opened a cashier lane. I made my way in after some jack*ss in an SUV cuts me off and then stares creepily at me, I was third in line.  I looked in my mirror and there were no joke, at least six cars behind me.  After an eternity that was probably only two minutes tops, it was my turn.


I told the female cashier what happened and she was even more flustered than I was. She handed me something to fill out, I did it, she took the $.94 cents and then got so flustered that she just told me to leave. I didn't have to mail anything, I was able to "keep" the $1.06 that I will now probably irresponsibly spend on a Starbucks beverage tomorrow on the way to another interview. 


I don't really have a moral of the story.  This is just how my life goes. I stumbled and tripped through another day, and was lucky enough to not eat fast food.