I took my camera to DC today and SWOON to the Secret Service. What's up hotties? I mean seriously; I walked for around 20-30 minutes, did a huge perimeter of the White House, and I saw maybe 20 Secret Service guys who were dressed like police (same types of outfits, but they were SS). I swear to you out of 20, at least 18 were gorgeous, and the others were still good looking, just a little too short for my desires. In my head I was screaming "What's cookin' good lookin'!?" and hope that it never came out aloud...
Well I'm back (again). Every time I begin a new diet regiment (or rather re-start a better lifestyle) I become super "cravey." I suddenly want Mexican food or fast food. For example, I don't eat fast food (i.e. McDonalds, Burger King or Wendy's), but I've been suddenly craving Taco Bell like crazy. I don't even like Taco Bell! I have decided that instead of doing calorie counting or Weight Watchers or anything like that, I'm going to try to just eat as many fruits and vegetables as possible in place of the crap foods that I'd usually eat.
I pulled out the almost never-opened Raw Food cookbooks that I have and am going to try to make more raw foods. For breakfast instead of Starbucks I'm going to try to make fruit smoothies and eat a Larabar about an hour after that. Then, instead of fast meals that I can microwave, I'm going to try to make sandwiches with no bread, or eat salads and foods like that. We'll see how it goes. I won't go 'cold turkey' into raw foods or anything, because I know that I always have the boomerang effect. I need to have an egg in the mornings some days, I won't allow myself to feel guilty for it.
I also need to get back to the gym. I wish I liked the gym. I am going to try to do other things, like hiking, biking, walking the dog etc. We'll see how it goes!
Have a happy Easter / Passover / Sunday / Day off of work!
Showing posts with label cook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cook. Show all posts
07 December 2011
Help; I need somebody, Help; not just anybody..
I'm a morning person. My body wakes me up at 6-7am, no matter what time I went to sleep. If it's 8am, it's a damn miracle. My job requires me to work late, meaning 12p-10p four days per week. I usually have a break at around 3:30 or 4pm, so by the time I get home I'm starving, and so exhausted that I don't want to cook or prepare anything. So I eat: crap foods.
The month of December has been pure hell at work. I've been yelled at by ignorant people, we've been robbed where I work (long story), and for the entire month of December I'm working late. I usually work these later shifts once or twice per week which is fine, it's when I take my dog to the dog park in the morning. Now that I'm doing it four times per week, I notice that I eat crap foods when I get home. My roommate wakes up at 5-7pm for the night because of her work schedule, so she's always up for eating when I get home, which in a sense encourages and enables me.
This job doesn't pay me well. I find that because I'm always in the poor house, when I get money I can't hold onto it. A lot of times it goes to food. I have a feeling that it's a deep-rooted issue from childhood, because I know we had some money troubles for a few years back then, and I was always really terrible at budgeting. Also, I was always teased about my weight and turned to hiding and eating food when I was like 5 years old and older. I know this is all related to PTSD but I can't figure out how.. I also go to the grocery store and buy fresh and beautiful foods with desires to cook, but most of the time they go wasted. I get anxiety cleaning out the fridge, knowing a. how much money I wasted, and b. how it means what I really put in my body.
I hate waking up full and feeling disgusting. This is a true sign that I've slipped into some of my old ways. This is truly embarrassing, but here is a taste of my old ways and what I put myself through last night. I got home at 10:20pm and thought about ordering food. For some reason I have this thing that I can't figure out: if I think about food in a certain way ('ooh, I want pizza'), it is an all-consuming 'deal' until I actually do what my brain is consumed with: eat the food I can't stop thinking about. By can't stop thinking about it, I mean NOTHING stops me from thinking about it. I won't pay attention to conversations, TV, music, internet, you name it. Then I do what I'm consumed with and it's like 'okay cool, back to reality.'
Last night I unfortunately thought about a calzone and mozzarella sticks. At 10:30pm I ordered them, and started watching (of all things, The Biggest Loser). I ordered said food as well as a pizza, 'to tide me over for a couple of days.' They came at 11:15; I ate my calzone and mozzarella sticks, and when I was putting away the pizza took a slice to eat. I don't know why, but !#%(&# @$%@ I wish I hadn't. I sat on the couch in a sad state of lethargy, watching the Biggest Loser contestants run a marathon. P.S. if John wins this I would like to personally drive to his house and punch him in the face for being a bloody jerk.
So I went to bed last night, and just like in my old ways I had trouble falling asleep. It was after 2:30am when I finally did. I woke up this morning at around 7:30, and fought off actually getting up due to exhaustion until 9. Then I got up. I got an all-consuming desire to blog this, like I know it would help. It hasn't, but maybe it will soon. I don't know what to do. My job doesn't offer health insurance for more than six months, so I'm still waiting on that. I'm sure therapy would help, but I'm stuck.
The month of December has been pure hell at work. I've been yelled at by ignorant people, we've been robbed where I work (long story), and for the entire month of December I'm working late. I usually work these later shifts once or twice per week which is fine, it's when I take my dog to the dog park in the morning. Now that I'm doing it four times per week, I notice that I eat crap foods when I get home. My roommate wakes up at 5-7pm for the night because of her work schedule, so she's always up for eating when I get home, which in a sense encourages and enables me.
This job doesn't pay me well. I find that because I'm always in the poor house, when I get money I can't hold onto it. A lot of times it goes to food. I have a feeling that it's a deep-rooted issue from childhood, because I know we had some money troubles for a few years back then, and I was always really terrible at budgeting. Also, I was always teased about my weight and turned to hiding and eating food when I was like 5 years old and older. I know this is all related to PTSD but I can't figure out how.. I also go to the grocery store and buy fresh and beautiful foods with desires to cook, but most of the time they go wasted. I get anxiety cleaning out the fridge, knowing a. how much money I wasted, and b. how it means what I really put in my body.
I hate waking up full and feeling disgusting. This is a true sign that I've slipped into some of my old ways. This is truly embarrassing, but here is a taste of my old ways and what I put myself through last night. I got home at 10:20pm and thought about ordering food. For some reason I have this thing that I can't figure out: if I think about food in a certain way ('ooh, I want pizza'), it is an all-consuming 'deal' until I actually do what my brain is consumed with: eat the food I can't stop thinking about. By can't stop thinking about it, I mean NOTHING stops me from thinking about it. I won't pay attention to conversations, TV, music, internet, you name it. Then I do what I'm consumed with and it's like 'okay cool, back to reality.'
Last night I unfortunately thought about a calzone and mozzarella sticks. At 10:30pm I ordered them, and started watching (of all things, The Biggest Loser). I ordered said food as well as a pizza, 'to tide me over for a couple of days.' They came at 11:15; I ate my calzone and mozzarella sticks, and when I was putting away the pizza took a slice to eat. I don't know why, but !#%(&# @$%@ I wish I hadn't. I sat on the couch in a sad state of lethargy, watching the Biggest Loser contestants run a marathon. P.S. if John wins this I would like to personally drive to his house and punch him in the face for being a bloody jerk.
So I went to bed last night, and just like in my old ways I had trouble falling asleep. It was after 2:30am when I finally did. I woke up this morning at around 7:30, and fought off actually getting up due to exhaustion until 9. Then I got up. I got an all-consuming desire to blog this, like I know it would help. It hasn't, but maybe it will soon. I don't know what to do. My job doesn't offer health insurance for more than six months, so I'm still waiting on that. I'm sure therapy would help, but I'm stuck.
06 May 2011
ghetto band-aids and chicken noodle soup.
I will start off by saying I should win sister of the decade award. Okay, sister of the week at least. I am a vegetarian. I've been a vegetarian at least 15 years. My sister isn't one, and she's pretty sick with a sinus infection which in her case almost always turns into bronchitis. She's on antibiotics and decided to still go to work today, so I found a recipe online for Chicken Noodle Soup (homemade, from scratch!) and spent like $9 million dollars on ingredients for it. Alright fine, it was like $200 and I bought a ton of other stuff.
Until I joined Weight Watchers, I hated cooking. Now I don't mind it so much, so I thought this would be a fun challenge. Carrying the reusable bags upstairs caused a miniscule cut in the palm-side of my index finger. I didn't realize it until I was chopping onions. After cursing around 35 times I ignored the band-aids in the cabinet and made my own. My ingenuity helped me to create a band-aid with a select-a-size paper towel and approximately eight inches of scotch tape. It did the job very well.
Until I joined Weight Watchers, I hated cooking. Now I don't mind it so much, so I thought this would be a fun challenge. Carrying the reusable bags upstairs caused a miniscule cut in the palm-side of my index finger. I didn't realize it until I was chopping onions. After cursing around 35 times I ignored the band-aids in the cabinet and made my own. My ingenuity helped me to create a band-aid with a select-a-size paper towel and approximately eight inches of scotch tape. It did the job very well.
The recipe said it'd take 50 minutes total. Lies. It took about an hour and a half. But outside of low-sodium chicken broth, everything else was from scratch! I was reminded why I am a vegetarian when I had to de-skin and de-fat (?) four chicken thighs. Also, because I stupidly bought chicken on the bone (when the recipe clearly called for boneless!), I had to de-bone it after it boiled. I won't even tell you how much dancing around I did going "Ew, ew, oh my gosh, ewwwww" etc.
When I cook, I tend to wing it, following the mantra: a recipe is a guideline... I added a couple of small potatoes and some celery root, extra celery and carrots, because the recipe called for parsnip and the grocery store didn't have any... I don't know what happened, but for some reason there just wasn't enough water / chicken stock. In the end I had to add like 3 cups of water and 2 bouillon cubes to so it didn't turn into a huge pile of mush.
I drove it to my sister at work and she tried it and said it was decent. Good thing too, because she'll be eating it for the next six weeks. Always an adventure in the kitchen.
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