It's smart - she is writing about discovering what food is to her, how specific foods became her downfall and where those foods begin, what life is, etc. I have been really trying to feel the same things by proxy: I'm trying to figure out why I have specific cravings, and how to handle them. I recommend this book to any and every one. I have about 1/2 - 2/3 left, and I'm savoring it as much as possible, so that I can really let it sink in and resonate. I'd really like to start journaling about food, but I start to write and I just get this immediate 'cease and desist' notice from my brain, causing me to give up...
After reading this I realize that I'd really like to taste food again, feel the sensual aspects of it (read the chapter of her cooking in a kitchen with a stranger!), and see if I can learn to enjoy it rather than treat it like something I should shovel in, and to use as a barrier between myself and emotions. My friend and I were joking after we saw someone who is truly fit today: "his body is a temple. we treat ours like trash compactors." Basically it's true. I shovel crap in and intellectually I see that it's crap. Emotionally I'd like a connection with what I'm eating, but I don't have one. It's doing nothing but preventing emotions; almost like a blockade.
I have to bring this up. I have been so emotional for the past few months. If I see someone open the door for someone else or do something equally nice, I feel the slightest amount of tears collecting at the back of my eyes. If I see something heartwarming on TV I pretty much break down and tear up, while swallowing as quickly as possible to stop the tears. So help me god if I see a puppy or an adorable baby. I can't stop these weird outbursts and I can't tell you where they come from. I'm trying with an educated guess to suggest that it's a subconscious thing with my emotions, food, feeling stress, the inability to get to the gym and desire to go, etc. But I would love to know how to make it stop. Or to get it to release! I'm a system with no shut off to my pressure valve, and eventually I'm going to blow!!!
I've had 3 sessions with a therapist now; she's nice, I like her... But she annoyed me this week by spending 10 minutes lecturing me on food and nutritionists and overeating, like I haven't heard any of that before. I'd like to work on some of the emotional stuff with her, I don't need the "mom" lecture as she called it, from her!! I already get that elsewhere thanks!!!
