02 July 2011

What a change...

So, one would think that going to one of the largest and most incredible, populated, busy cities in the world would create a strong desire to work out like crazy and eat healthily.  Well, I thought I ate healthy. I made it a point to walk no less than 15 blocks north at lunch before I ate lunch and turned around to walk 15 more blocks, so that I would get some exercise.  In the evenings I walked between 15-40 blocks before turning around also.  I calculated it and I walked between about 3-6 miles per day.

I ate salads and hummus, made sure to get fruit salad almost every day, ate few "bad" foods, although I ate out for every meal.  I tried to eat at healthy, local and fresh-food serving restaurants and did fairly well, but I do know that I made some poor choices. So, I didn't lose weight. In fact, when I started this new job I was 256 pounds. This morning I was 260 pounds. This was in two weeks.  Travel days were the worst - I have a history of traveling and eating in train stations and airports, eating pretty much crap.  Well, in three weeks I had 6 very long travel days. I know I ate poorly on each of those days.

I feel bloated, gross, lethargic, depressed. I don't feel like I did when I was unemployed but exercising super regularly, eating homemade foods.  This training that I've been in is nine hours long, with a one hour lunch.  By the time I get back to my hotel (after working and walking) I've been up for about 13-15 hours, and I just don't feel like jumping on the elliptical or treadmill, or even doing 20 minutes of weights.

It's horrible to say aloud how much this job is making me miserable so far.  I was made to feel really uncomfortable (by the way of sexual harassment) by someone in a higher up position (whom I will not work with other than the work that has already happened).  I met someone from another location who was an absolute D-BAG, who made the weeks suck even more by putting everyone (me) down to make him/herself seem super awesome and amazing.

I applied to a university today. I hope I get in and can afford to go. I really want to go to school full-time and maybe work part-time.  I want a job that I love, or at least look forward to going to each day.

I can't believe that I've turned such a corner, and for the worse. A month ago I was feeling okay, feeling like I was doing well or at least tolerantly well with weight loss. I honestly expected myself to be 10-12 pounds less by now than I currently weigh.

Also, my sister joined an online dating site last week and convinced me to do it, so I did it today. Then I read an article where a man said that he won't date women over size 12, 14 is pushing it.  He said 16 or higher is just gross. Awesome.  What a smart time to join a website, right?

Oy.  Does anyone have ANY suggestions or ideas as to how I can pull myself out of this slump?  Please reply, Any help or suggestions would be amazing.